I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
