We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
