why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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