I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
