wrigley field is MILF paradise
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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