my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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