somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
