just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
And then he peed in my hair
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