i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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