I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
