"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
