I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
