I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
