I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Randomize