ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
