I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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