i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
