Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
