they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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