Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
