Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
