your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
