you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
