How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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