dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
