fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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