I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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