No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
