it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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