these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
