What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
