pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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