my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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