I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
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