You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
