i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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