I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
splinters make it hard to masturbate
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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