Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize