Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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