so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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