what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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