I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
