I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
