It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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