hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
