well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
