She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize