WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
