it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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