This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
