you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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