well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
