I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
do herpes really smell.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
