i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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