She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
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