I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
