I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
