i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize