I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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