we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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